Jumat, 30 Mei 2008

BEGINNINGS OF A HEGEMONY

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You too can start a hegemony, with just a baby hedgehog and a pound sterling. Hedge-money, get it?

FASTER DAD!!! GO FASTER!!!

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If you forget the part about how crocodiles will rip you limb-from-limb, this is actually a cute, nostalgia inducing picture. It's so nostalgic, it brings crocodile tears to my eyes. :P

Kamis, 29 Mei 2008

QUIT POKING MEH W/ THAT THING

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Narwhal pod gatherings are rarely productive because most of the meeting time is devoted to complaints about being poked with tusks. In all serioussness though, the reference.com link mentions that one in 500 male Narwhals have two tusks rather than the popularly characterized one tusk. Don't say I never learned ya nuthin.

CALL BLOODHOUND GANG THERES BEEN A CRIME

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If you've got the crime, we've got the time. We're the Bloodhound Gang!

Sabtu, 10 Mei 2008

CONGRESSIONAL COMMITTEE

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Eidetic Memories Outlawed

snip from a news article from the near future:

In order to prevent both terrorists from obtaining detailed plans of public spaces and copyright theft, eidetic memories have been outlawed. A prominent Washington politician has been quoted as saying "Those who have eidetic memories are evil-doers, no American should be able to have nearly photographic recall. These people can take pictures without a camera. They can steal movies and photographs without any apparent effort. Their very difference from ordinary Americans are damning evidence of their nefarious culpability."


It took the congress and the senate very little time to arrive at a punishment for those with photographic memory capabilities: "Those with eidetic memories must nibble on lead paint in one of our detention facilities. Furthermore, they must also handle loose mercury. They shall also be subjected to Fox News continuously for the duration of their detention. These punishments shall be meted until the individual's extraordinary talent has been effectively effaced."


In an unrelated story, standardized test scores from around America have mysteriously dropped even more.



References that inspired the above satire:

No more smart phones

These are the camps they will be taken to.

This is the stand real Americans take.

Your behavior must be proper.

You will be taken for being suspicious

You may only take pictures in allowed areas.

The allowable places to take photographs will slowly shrink.

Do not exhibit curiosity or wonder.

Selasa, 06 Mei 2008

Senin, 05 Mei 2008

MY GUD SIDE LETZ ME SHOW U IT

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The horse would like to show you it's good side because it does not want to get off on the wrong hoof, err foot.

POW!!!

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Happy Monday people. At least it's Cinco de Mayo.

Minggu, 04 Mei 2008

Sabtu, 03 Mei 2008